Gone so long

Didn't mean to be gone so long.
Nothing has been going on... really.
I'm drama free right now. Just kinda relaxing and trying to not think about Melvin a whole lot. I think I"ve realized that even though he has all of these wonderful qualities that I've always wanted in a man, he is lacking the most essential one: desiring only me, wanting only me... LOVING ME. And I don't know where that leave us. I still think about him. I still love him... but I am trying to not 'hope' anymore. I'm kinda of tired of being the one to worry about this and try so hard to make time for 'us' and stuff.
And just when I realize all of this... he is suddenly very chatty today. So I was annoyed. Usually when he text msgs me I'm just happy... today I was annoyed. It's just like he has some radar to know when I am wanting to move on from him and so he contacts me. I dunno...

Time will tell.

Pft

Haven't updated in a while. Been busy getting all my exercise in. This darn BodyBugg is so addictive. I'm up to walking 3.6 miles about 3-4 times a week, and go to the gym the other days. I only take Thursdays off. (I know - it's so exciting.)

Melvin - well, I haven't seen him in 2 weeks. I was trying to maybe go over there tonight, but he has some wedding he had to go to. I hate weddings. Really, I do.
Anyway, not sure when I'll see him again... I'm getting tired of it. I promise. I still love him... but its been almost 2 weeks since I left him the VM telling him that I cared about him and blah blah.. Argh. He's not ever mentioned the content of that VM, though he did confirm that he got it. I think the next time I go over there I'll be more brave (now that I already got part of it out there) and just kinda ask him flat out whether or not 'this' is going anywhere, or if I'm just some girl that comes over and gives him an occational blow job - cause I don't want to be that girl. (anymore)